Wednesday, February 8, 2017

IDENTITY

Have you wondered how life would have been, had you been named something else? Who you would have been, had you been born in another family? Are we actually only reflections of our interactions, stimuli, influences?

The baby once 'named' is looked upon with the meaning of the name bestowed. Who knows anything about the new born baby or 11 day old baby while naming him/her. Yet we correlate, draw conclusions and conclude based on the name. If born in a family of musicians, every early step towards the 'notes' is noted and high pitched. Not refuting science and its DNAed structure, but there could be a child born in a musician family who has a soft note for animals sealed over his/her music abilities. Wonder if it is ever identified?
School I believe is the first space that forms part of our identity. If you are in the same school for 10 or more years, there definitely is so much of you still there! This includes nicknames, competitions, group interactions, one on one relation with the opposite sex, 'you' in the eyes of your teacher, friends, etc etc.. .Some of them though false, we hold on and live with all our lives. Wonder if there is a re-look at this disguised identity, ever?

'Family' is another social structure that contributes to a big part of your identity while growing up and continues to be with you for life. Social pressure also adds to this bond. Very rarely are bonds in family really open and up for acceptance based on the real person. Most of the time- the mothers side or fathers side overpowers and the other gives way subdued. The kids follow suit. A friend from the theater fraternity once quoted , ' most of the drama actually happens in the family!'. And the more I think of it, the more I crack up and realise how true it is.  You are a mother, father, daughter, son, (inlaw), child, grandchild, sister, niece, aunt, ... all of the above having expectations defined both during 'role definition' and 'role playing'. To be able to influence, to be accepted, to be part of the whole, we probably keep playing our parts dutifully. Once you start your own family, the drama doubles! Wonder if the family grows with you or grows on you ??

The career you take on from the 20s of your life- definitely should be the closest to who you are. You culminate your education, do a specialised course in it and are ready to do your bit for all . Why then do I find so often people 35+ working in a totally different industry/ field, that they have been educated in? Reasons given - opportunity, money, change of interest.. etc etc. The education  you earn definitely makes you capable of being employed and saleable, but after spending 10 hours a day, continuously for 15 years- suddenly one day, there is a question - wonder if I want to keep doing this??

In mid life then , you go in search of the identity. The forest, the mountains, the trees, the river, the ocean, wild animals, the tiny little birds, the simple people of the village, all seem so much more a part of you - when in reality you havent spent enough time at all with them all through your life!
Wonder if it is just a refreshing moment away from the monotonous boredom? Or I wonder if in reality it is an element of the universe you are yearning to identify yourself with!