Wednesday, December 7, 2016

The Dark D

I saw him yesterday, enter through the doors of the ICU . He rushed in, the curtain separating my Doddas bed blew open and he engulfed her. She clinched her tummy in excruciating pain. In unison both my aunts and my mother, started chanting mantras. All different or probably same, I didn't understand. They three held her-  hands, legs, pressed her stomach and 'she' my Dodda, though in pain, was mumbling gods name herself. Then suddenly he left...
It was as though the counter power of prayer pushed him out of the room. He came back at least thrice in the 1.5 hours I was there. Every time he came, I stood stiff holding back my tears and slowly realising the intensity of the ultimate truth.
It was my first close encounter to the process of dying.
Until the age of 25, I didn't fear death.. then I fell in love. One door of emotion opened up and they all poured in. Yesterday as I returned home from the ICU, I was overwhelmed with fear. As a counteraction I wanted to disassociate myself with love.
I cried all night and realised I cant do it. The dark D will keep doing his work and attack every loved one. Until then, fear and helplessness need to lie low, somewhere difficult to find!  

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