Wednesday, March 9, 2016

THINGS ARE NEVER ALRIGHT!

I, as a child grew up believing in fantasies and still believe anything can happen if you put your mind and heart into it. At 37, I have gone into a reality check of who I am, where I belong and how I have lived until date.
Around 13 years back I met this person who was so unlike me and never thought we would be be together for life.
Today I confidently can say that if I am not with him, I know I am missing something. I wished for this my whole childhood, to have the love, madness, need and feeling of wanting to be one another. When I started feeling it, I thought he was over that feeling in the initial years of marriage and now its a one sided love marriage story..
But yesterday he told me that I complete him .. that we are so okay with each other that we dont know anyone else in our lives.. But what suprised me was, when he said it with a feeling that 'this is not how it is supposed to be!!'

Why !!!! why is that we dont even accept the small perfections in our imperfect world. Isnt it a lovely feeling that a husband and wife can talk anything under the sun, are best friends in all terms, miss each other crazily even if they are away one night. Why is it wrong, because no one around feels the same about their spouses? Why is that you need to think of it like a mathematical equation, where x is dependent only on y and the other variables are not so dependent? Why is it wrong if there is an equation like that? Why is there a fear, because there needs to be some fear in ones life.. that what if something happens to one another, who else do we have ?

I dont go through this feeling, primarily because I dont want to dilute this current feeling. I dont want to just let it pass without acknowledging it. I dont want to again put a cover and tell people that I actually can do everything without my husband or he without me.. but I want to enjoy the joyous feeling of wanting to be with each other even at the age of 40!

Like my 7 year old lives the day to the fullest I want to live this feeling till it is there. I detest taking examples of people who live superficially and have n number of relationships, none with depth, none with openness, none with truth. You can be real with only the relation you are not scared of losing!

So dear best friend, just hold on and enjoy what we share- its okay that others dont have it, its okay that we are crazy and different, its okay that we are content with each other. We earned and require it, so lets hold on and take it all in , which is making us ready for what we got to do in future!!!